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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 20.06.2025 10:38

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By taking turns talking.

I’m a 25 year old teacher teaching at boys school & I have colleagues younger than me. I caught one of my students telling her he wanted her as his teacher instead & it hurt my feelings. They compliment her a lot. It makes me jealous. What do I do?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

What would be the lowest score with 9 strikes and no gutter balls?

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.